Alyon, TG -- The discovery of a rare and powerful magical item has generated fear, paranoia, and a general sense of foreboding, adventurers reported yesterday.
"So we killed this big giant that had wings and scales and acid immunity and some kind of breath weapon," Hakcelot Wyrmbane, cleric and party leader, stated, "and he was wearing this ring that dropped off his finger and resized so it would fit our normal-sized fingers, and then, when Uncanny Dahj put it on, this mystical voice said that he had three wishes." Wyrmbane then shook his head and appeared to utter in a quiet, dead voice, "We are so utterly screwed."
"Three wishes," Uncanny Dahj said. "Just think about that for a minute. THREE wishes. How the heck am I supposed to get out of that alive? I mean, if I'm lucky, I'll be able to use the third wish to undo the effects of the first two -- return the magic sword I asked for from the demon's lair where it was being stored, get rid of the permanent Ironskin I got when I asked to be harder to hit, that kind of thing. But how do I know I'll be that lucky? What if the wishes totally change the timeline such that I never got the ring in the first place, and then I'm stuck with a permanent Dex penalty because of my Iron Skin, not to mention a demon swearing a blood oath after I stole its magical two-bladed sword -- with which I'm not even proficient?"
"It's just not fair," said Spellweaver Starshine, another member of the party. "In a world with any kind of justice, you'd kill a half-dragon giant -- with levels in barbarian, I'm pretty sure -- and get some great treasure. But this... there's not justice in this. The ability to permanently affect reality, generate incredibly powerful permanent bonuses, or automatically cast almost any spell in the known world? That's just an invitation for death. Why not just paint a big ol' target on our backs now and save time?" The elven wizardess grimaced before adding, "And that bit where the ring resized to fit our fingers? Yeah, that was completely original. I wonder if anybody's gonna start getting this overwhelming urge to steal it from Dahj. Maybe our faces will change shape, too, as we protect our Precious. I'm just guessing, of course. Cough, cough."
Lance Smyterson, the party's paladin, saw things in a slightly different manner. "They're worried about using their wishes incorrectly and having them perverted to totally screw them over," the paladin confided, "but that really just bespeaks naivete on their part. I've been adventuring for longer than they have, and I know the way of the world. Perverting wishes is far too easy for this... um... universe. No, this is gonna have PLOT on it. Evil cults attacking us in our sleep. Wishes granted in good faith only for us to show up at a town being destroyed by a volcano and realizing that if we hadn't gotten those inherent bonuses to our stats, we could have saved a bunch of townsfolk. Old friends suddenly having their minds warped so that they try to kill us and steal the ring. Prophecies about how the wishes from that ring lead to the destruction of the world. That kind of thing." The paladin grinned, drew his sword, and scanned the countryside eagerly. "All I can say is, it's a good thing I'm immune to fear."
All in all, the discovery of the ring of wishes, estimated to be worth well over 100,000 gp, has lowered party morale and stalled the adventure by several hours. The party has not left the scene of the battle, and is currently still standing by the half-dragon giant's corpse. All members of the party except Uncanny Dahj submitted formal requests to stay in Initiative mode and not return to flat-footed status until after the wishes had been used.
"I'm just really hoping that whatever happens, it allows a Reflex save for half," Uncanny Dahj reported, "or, in my case, none. It's nerve-racking, though, trying to figure out how to screw yourself over the least. It's times like this when I wish I had a little more experience under my belt."
Added Dahj a moment later, looking down at his waist with a sick expression, "Oh, son of a..."
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