(a.k.a. "Slag Ferrous")
Episode Number: (TG315)
Original Airdate: 10/2001
After a long, vicious, nasty battle, the party is victorious, the Magma Gargoyles are driven away, and the Iron Golem falls from the ledge into the lava. Tierney wanders off for awhile and gets some loot, trusting the party to take care of itself.
The party is together, and they're getting items and clearing out rooms. With luck, they could be out of this place by Christmas -- especially given the notes by DMP that not all of the challenges are so fight-intensive.
There's been a lot of thinking on the set lately, and what we've decided is that we really, seriously, don't want a Kenny. If someone has to die heroically in an effort to save the party or stop the bad guy or something like that -- great. But I'd really like to keep party power more or less equitable, which means that I'm more inclined to fudge a roll that would have killed someone who'd already died once recently. If Timus had failed his save against that poison, there's a good chance it would have been instant death, since Timus hasn't felt the sweet embrace of the OlderSister yet.
Ferrous: I know now why you cry, but it's something I can neverGLOPHISSSSSSSSSSSSSS...
Gryffid: Oh, gods, poison, arrrrrrrrthepainYAKYAKYAK [coughs up own pancreas and keels over]
Tierney: Oh, man, I've got to get over there --
DMP: ...And there's some loot to your south.
Tierney: Well, I'm sure Gryff will be fine.
DMP: What are the chances of more than one of these guys getting a natural 20 to hit Tierney?
Mike: With normal dice, or with your dice? 'Cause your dice ain't natural.
More? I remember the gargoyles as being witty, but I can't remember a thing that they said...
Patrick: (gargoyle voice) I want to play with him. Especially his head.
(Gryff has delusions of shoving Ferrous backwards)
Tony: Can I convert this bull rush to a leg hump?
Patrick: I believe that's actually what you do...
Shadows: We're back! It was a bitch to get that door open!
Patrick: You know you're incorporeal?
Shadows: ...
Lea: (in the next room, yelps in surprise!) Fucking A!
Tony: What the fuck was that?
Mike: Strangely exciting.
Dave: Have you rolled your re-sex, er, fortitude save?
Patrick: When my fuckin' iron golem needs flanking to hit Tierney?!
Devon: It's a flail of sex change, right?
Dave: Tierney's now a guy?
(on missing something very long and hilarious)
Devon: Wait! We need to break this down so Tony can record this for posterity!
Patrick: (gargoyle voice) There's no reason to resort to personal attacks. Shitface.
Patrick: There's going to be a little gargoyle ball with Crispy Tierney Center.
To answer the unanswered question, "Get the børk out of this place, and kick Simon's sorry ass at our first opportunity." At least Timus and I can agree that the bugger is going down, and going down hard. And besides, there's only a finite number of monsters and traps in this finite place anyways, right? DavidBushong says: "You obviously didn't play enough Gauntlet."
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